Friday, July 29, 2011

First Impressionism...............

So the question that is up on the block for the Magic 8 Ball today is: Shall the boyfriend and I go see the Monet Water Lillies’ exhibit at the Art Museum tonight? Shakey……. Shakey………. Shakey……. And the Answer is: Cannot Predict Now. Ok then guess I shall have to put this off for a few hours and come back to it and ask the question in another way.
A few hours have passed and now it is time to ask the question another way. Shall the boyfriend and I go see the Monet Water Lillies' exhibit at the Art Museum this Thursday night? Shakey……. Shakey………. Shakey……. And the Answer is: Without a doubt. This is so good…. cause I really want to go and I think the boyfriend will enjoy it too. I talked to the boyfriend and he wants to go so we are on for Thursday!

So it’s Thursday and we go to the Art Gallery to see Monet’s Water Lillies’….all three panels together for the first time in thirty years. And it's incredible. They have couches strategically placed so you can sit and take it all in…the colors, the technique, the brilliance. It really is an amazing thing to see and this guy was awesome and maybe just a tad bit crazy…..never read up on him but to be that good you have to be a bit touched. But I digress….. So I am sitting there and I take my phone out and turn off the flash and take a picture. Just when I start to take a second picture a guard comes up and tells me we can’t take pictures of it. So I start to put my phone away and try to get one more shot.

I then go up to inspect the picture and Monet's signature closer. I lean in and take my glasses off to inspect his signature when the guard comes up to me again and says I have stepped over the line….what freggin’ line lady?

So I look down and see that the carpet ends and then you hit tile and I am standing on the tile and now apparently I have entered the museum danger zone. Really? What? Am I an Art Terrorist cause I want an up close look at his signature? Whatever…. I go back to the boyfriend who says that was my second strike and one more strike and I will be kicked out and banned from the Museum by the guard Nazis.

We decide we have seen enough and leave. Upon getting to the car I discover that I did get a second picture. I call it my impressionist photograph of one of the most significant impressionist paintings…….Monet’s Water Lillies’……… and you will find it in the upper right corner of this blog…..

Monday, July 25, 2011

To Sign On The Dotted Line..............

I know I have covered the topic of apartment life on here a few times in the short amount of time I have been blogging about my Magic 8 Ball life but I find it rearing its ugly head once again because I now am at a crossroads. I have to decide whether to renew my lease or find a new place to live.

There are some pluses to staying here. I do love my apartment. I have vaulted ceilings and one wall is completely glass so I get a lot light in the summer which I love… till the electric bill shows up. But I do love it in the winter because you get an enormous amount of light. I have a great balcony that I have turned into my own little Zen garden. The only part of this apartment I hate is the complex itself. The apartment is great… the people that run the complex are not and some of the tenants are just a little too questionable looking for my taste. But overall it could be lots worse. I am having a very hard time deciding so I guess it’s time to put it to the Magic 8 Ball.

Magic 8 Ball shall I renew my lease for this apartment? Shakey…….Shakey……… Shakey……… and the answer is “You May Rely On It”. Ok so it is decided. I have to say that I am secretly very happy. I was not looking forward to moving but if the 8 Ball had said I needed to move I would have started the process of looking.

So I will stay here and not pack up my little Zen garden so I can continue to have my meditation space and all my sunlight streaming in my windows …oh…and my high electric bill…still worth it. And I am sure my dog will appreciate not having to get used to another place. I will just have to deal with all the strange people and smells. Have I mentioned the smells before?

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Car Alarms And The Golden Ghetto

I know I have said this before but I think it is worthy of restating. God I love living in an apartment. It’s just such a plethora of fun sometimes!
The smells, the creepy neighbors, the noise….OMG the noise!!!

On a Sunday night at about 10:30PM someone’s car alarm started going off in the parking lot. This is not good as it is right outside my bedroom window and I have to get up at 5am. So I guess it’s time to ask the Magic 8 Ball for help. Magic 8 Ball should I call the police to report this car alarm going off? Shakey Shakey Shakey…… It Is Certain. Ok…well I don’t like calling the police on neighbors but I like my sleep more so I guess I will make the call. Now it is 11PM the car alarm is STILL going off and my neighbor from downstairs has joined me in the hall to see what the heck the deal is.

The thing is I know who the car belongs to and I know what building he lives in but I don’t know what apartment he lives in. I don’t think it’s a good idea to go door to door by myself at 11 o’clock at night trying to find the owner cause you don’t want to get yelled at or raped or end up in little pieces in somebody’s refrigerator. My neighbor next door decided she would go with me. So off we went knocking on doors. At least the neighbors were nice about it. They could have been really mean and rude about someone knocking on their door at 11pm. God knows I would not be happy about it nor would I open my door if I had two guys standing outside it at 11pm.

Finally after knocking on 4 doors we found the owner of the car who came to the door with out his shirt on….....completely gross….....and he came out to fix the alarm right as the Police showed up to investigate the problem. The cop was not at all amused by the fact that we had managed to find the alarm perpetrator and that he showed up to call that was in essence solved. He did have some choice words for the man without the shirt. If it was me I would have scolded him about the alarm and then thrown in “and dude put on a shirt no one wants to look at that.” So I guess all is well again in my lovely little slice of heaven I like to call my apartment in the golden ghetto.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Signs Signs Everywhere Signs Or Not..........

In the movie Bruce Almighty the main character is having a really bad day and he asks God for a sign. He is driving in his car he passes one of those huge signs that the highway works folks post on the side of the road that says “Danger Ahead’. Some people are the type that trust in God and see and read the signs along the way while others think that sort of thing is a bunch of hog wash as they say here in the Midwest.

I am one of those people who see, read and do my best to try and interpret the signs that God gives me while along the way. The key to this lies in the interpretation of the signs. Some are easy to read while other make you scratch your head and just wonder. If synchronicity is involved you can bet you should be paying attention to it. This doesn’t mean you’ll ever figure out what it means.

On Sunday the boyfriend and I were going to get together for dinner. He was going to meet me at my place so I called him when I was heading home and he told me his car battery was dead and asked if I could swing by and jump start his car. It was not a problem and I was happy to help. A couple of days later, I was walking out the door of my apartment building on my way to work when my neighbor asked me if I could provide him with a jump start as his car had a dead battery. Now this has my attention………. being asked to jump start two cars over the span of 3 days….interesting coincidence and a sign worthy of my attention.

So the question is what the heck does it mean? Maybe I should ask the Magic 8 Ball if it is a sign. Magic 8 Ball is jump starting two cars over the span of three days a sign I should pay attention to? Shakey Shakey Shakey……….Magic 8 Ball answer: Signs Point To Yes. Well Duh!!! That is all fine and good but what the heck does it mean?
Maybe I should ask the Magic 8 Ball if I will figure out what the sign or meaning to jump starting two cars in three days is/was. I shall ask……Magic 8 Ball will I figure out what the sign/meaning of jump starting two cars in three days is? Shakey Shakey Shakey…… Magic 8 Ball answer: My Sources Say No. Ah… Well.... there you have it. God’s deep truth still goes unanswered…….ok maybe it’s not that deep.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

So Cute But What A Pain In The Arse......

It is July in my lovely town and the temps are soaring. They have issued a heat advisory for our area and they expect the actual high temp today to be around 101 with a heat index of 105 to 110. So about half way thru the day they issue a boil order for 500 thousand people in our city of 2.5 million. This means on an extremely hot day you have heat up your water to boiling before you can drink it. Really? Really? Are ya kidding me? Then they tell us that it will likely last for a couple of days. Not only does this affect cooking and drinking water but you are not suppose to shower or bathe in it either. Now this is going from bad to worse! I wasn’t planning on stocking up on bottled water but now I may have to change my mind. Maybe this will have to be a question for the Magic 8 Ball. Magic 8 Ball should I go stock up on bottled water so I have a reserve in case of emergencies? Shakey Shakey Shakey……………..without a doubt.
Okay so I guess on my lunch hour I will head off to go buy some bottled water.

Well gee that was fun. I head off on my half hour lunch hour across the street to Wal-Mart to go grab a couple of cases of bottled water and apparently there has been a run on it…… none to be found. So then I go to the local grocery store and again shelves are bare. Hmmm… This might be more serious than I thought. Or maybe not. I won’t drink water I’ll just drink wine……that might not be such a bright idea…… guess I will have to wait till I get off work to search the area for bottled water.

Interesting… it appears the boil order problem all stems from one rather curious raccoon who decided to check out the local water system. Apparently a raccoon got into the switch gear at the water plant which caused a major surge and then caused everything to shut down. All this because of a raccoon!!

After work I did finally find some bottled water but it took going across the state line to get it. I do now have a reserve which I have tapped into of which the boyfriend says I must replace so that I can continue to have a reserve. That sounds like a question for the Magic 8 Ball on another day.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Lessons And The Kitchen Sink

Apartment living can sometimes be challenging. For instance, I have a bunch of flowers out on my balcony to try to have a bit of “ Zen” going on outside my living room windows. Watering all these plants can be a bit of a challenge since the only way to do so is to load up a two gallon watering can and make the trip back and forth from the kitchen to the balcony. To speed up this process I decided to add a 2 gallon painter’s bucket to alternate with the watering can.

On about my 10th trip back to the kitchen I came back to a lovely fountain exploding all over my kitchen where upon inspection it became evident the faucet attached to my kitchen sink had just fallen off. There was water everywhere. I mean everywhere!!! Alll over me, all over the kitchen floor and the cabinets,the counters…..everywhere!!! I finally got the water turned off and started getting things cleaned up and made the first attempt to reattach the faucet back to the sink hardware. First attempt… luck…… it fell right back off once I turn the water on. It should also be said that when God was handing out patience I was apparently standing in some other line. So second attempt…again it just fell off. I guess it’s time to call the apartment complex to have their handy man come over with proper tools to reattach this. I make the call only to be informed that it will have to be sometime tomorrow before they can get to me because this is not considered and emergency by "their" standards. So now I have no kitchen sink till at least this time tomorrow night. Sounds like it’s time for the Magic 8 Ball.

Magic 8 Ball…..should I try to fix this myself? Shakey Shakey Shakey……..Concentrate and Ask Again……. Magic 8 Ball......should I try to fix this myself? Shakey Shakey Shakey……..Signs Point To Yes. Well alright then. Looks like I have myself a lesson in patience and plumbing. I never like lessons in patience and.... well..... plumbing..... the most I know about plumbing is that I hate plumber’s crack.

This might just be amusing trying to fix this. My next attempt will be made bare handed. This time, with most of the water out of the way, I just might be successful. I think maybe if I just keep screwing this thing down...I really don't know what it is called....even after it feels like it’s back on maybe it will actually hold once I turn the water on. OR it doesn’t and I blow off the lesson in patience and leave it to the professionals. for the test. I will turn on the water ever so slowly so if it doesn’t hold I will not have the fountain spraying in my kitchen again. So far so good. Now I will turn the water up full force. Oh My God….it’s holding…… I fixed it!!!!! Wow what a great feeling!!!! Time for the white girl dance around the kitchen!!

Friday, July 1, 2011

Not Full Of Sh&#

Like I said in my first post I don't live in a house I live in an apartment. There are some pluses to apartment life like when something breaks you call someone and they fix it (maybe not in your time frame) and you don't have to pay for it. The bad things......noise and neighbors that do not take responsibility for their pets.

One of my neighbors has a large dog and they never pick up her poop. I have a large dog too but I am hyper vigilant about cleaning up after him. So after my neighbors leaving numerous poop piles for all of us to dodge I feel it is time to put the Magic 8 Ball on it.

Magic 8 Ball should I collect all the poop and leave it on my neighbors door step as a welcome home present? Magic 8 Ball Says: Cannot Predict Now. Okay so I guess I will revisit this issue at another time. Thanks Magic 8 Ball.

So perhaps the Magic 8 Ball is keeping me from getting into a big ole crap fest with my neighbor which at this point I wouldn't really mind. I mean how can you live in an apartment complex and be so self centered. People never cease to amaze me.........