Sunday, August 18, 2013

DEAR HALLS COUGH DROPS I DON'T WANT A PEP TALK WHEN I'M SICK.

I have had an awful summer cold for about 10 days now. It started as a little tickle in my throat and then a stuffed up nose. Eventually it has worked its way to my chest. Now the biggest symptom is a cough so furious that my stomach muscles and back muscles are so sore from coughing that I can barely move.  In order to keep the cough a little suppressed I took myself to the local CVS drug store to buy some cough drops. There were many brands to choose from but I grabbed a big bag of Halls Cherry Cough drops.

I finally feel good enough to go to work but I still have my cough. So I load myself up with my Halls cough drops and schlep into work. As the day goes on I realize I have a pile of cough drop wrappers just then a colleague of mine comes to my cubicle. She joyously points out all the positive messages on the wrappers. I ask her what on earth she is talking about. So she shows me the wrappers with these positive messages on them.

I must tell you…. While sitting there coughing and feeling like a pile of poo it just hit me wrong. Totally pissed me off. The last thing I need when I am sick is some one telling me buck up I can do it.  Here are just a few of the “pep” talks they have on each wrapper. 

Be resilient.

Be unstoppable.

Put your game face on.

Let's hear your battle cry.

Dust off and get up.

Don't waste a precious minute.

Take charge and mean it.

Don't try harder. Do harder!

Put a little strut in it.

Flex your "can do" muscle.

Tough is your middle name.

March forward!

It's yours for the taking.

Get back in there champ!

Go for it.

Get through it.

Seize the day
 
You can do it and you know it.

The show must go on. 

Don't give up on yourself.

Nothing you can't handle.

Power through.

Push on.

And the last….. and to me by far the worst Turn "can do" into "can did!"

Makes ya just want to scream a big ole “F You” to the marketing genius that decided that sick people should be encourage to work harder and faster when really we should probably still be at home in bed so we aren’t spreading our germs to other people. I can tell you that thanks to these lovely marketing people the Halls Couch drop company has lost a customer. I’m sorry but that is the last crap I want to read when I feel like death warmed over. I have been a Halls cough drop customer since they hit the market but I am now officially banning Halls cough drops from my home. My family will now only be using Ricola cough drops from here on out.

I do understand that some folks will think these messages are great but I’m also sure that many will find it as irritating as I do and will make a decision to no longer purchase Halls products. For Halls there are two remaining questions.

1. Did the pep talks marketing concept increase sales?
2. Did the pep talk marketing concept cause them to loose sales?


Let’s put the question to the MAGIC 8 BALL.


Magic 8 Ball Did the pep talk in every drop campaign cost Halls  market share by irritating lots of sick people?

SHAKEY………… SHAKEY…….. SHAKEY…………

And the answer is:  IT IS CERTAIN.