DEAR HALLS COUGH DROPS I DON'T WANT A PEP TALK WHEN I'M SICK.

I have had an awful summer cold for about 10 days now. It started as a little tickle in my throat and then a stuffed up nose. Eventually it has worked its way to my chest. Now the biggest symptom is a cough so furious that my stomach muscles and back muscles are so sore from coughing that I can barely move.  In order to keep the cough a little suppressed I took myself to the local CVS drug store to buy some cough drops. There were many brands to choose from but I grabbed a big bag of Halls Cherry Cough drops.

I finally feel good enough to go to work but I still have my cough. So I load myself up with my Halls cough drops and schlep into work. As the day goes on I realize I have a pile of cough drop wrappers just then a colleague of mine comes to my cubicle. She joyously points out all the positive messages on the wrappers. I ask her what on earth she is talking about. So she shows me the wrappers with these positive messages on them.

I must tell you…. While sitting there coughing and feeling like a pile of poo it just hit me wrong. Totally pissed me off. The last thing I need when I am sick is some one telling me buck up I can do it.  Here are just a few of the “pep” talks they have on each wrapper. 

Be resilient.

Be unstoppable.

Put your game face on.

Let's hear your battle cry.

Dust off and get up.

Don't waste a precious minute.

Take charge and mean it.

Don't try harder. Do harder!

Put a little strut in it.

Flex your "can do" muscle.

Tough is your middle name.

March forward!
It's yours for the taking.

Get back in there champ!

Go for it.

Get through it.

Seize the day
 
You can do it and you know it.

The show must go on. 

Don't give up on yourself.

Nothing you can't handle.

Power through.

Push on.

And the last….. and to me by far the worst Turn "can do" into "can did!"

Makes ya just want to scream a big ole “F You” to the marketing genius that decided that sick people should be encourage to work harder and faster when really we should probably still be at home in bed so we aren’t spreading our germs to other people. I can tell you that thanks to these lovely marketing people the Halls Couch drop company has lost a customer. I’m sorry but that is the last crap I want to read when I feel like death warmed over. I have been a Halls cough drop customer since they hit the market but I am now officially banning Halls cough drops from my home. My family will now only be using Ricola cough drops from here on out.

I do understand that some folks will think these messages are great but I’m also sure that many will find it as irritating as I do and will make a decision to no longer purchase Halls products. For Halls there are two remaining questions.

1. Did the pep talks marketing concept increase sales?

2. Did the pep talk marketing concept cause them to loose sales?

Let’s put the question to the MAGIC 8 BALL.

Magic 8 Ball Did the pep talk in every drop campaign cost Halls  market share by irritating lots of sick people?

SHAKEY………… SHAKEY…….. SHAKEY…………

And the answer is:  IT IS CERTAIN. 

DR. PHIL IS A PILL THAT YOU REALLY SHOULDN'T TAKE.............

I have had a few days off work and it was much needed rest. On a few of those days I happened to be home when Dr. Phil came on the ole TV.  I have never really thought much about Dr. Phil and his good ole boy approach to dealing with problems. On this day though my view point changed. Perhaps I am now in a different spiritual place than I have been before but on this occasion I found his ways to be demeaning and way to authoritative for me.

I have never noticed before how judgemental he is. It is either his way or the highway. News flash Dr. Phil..... even on a highway there are lots of entrance ramps and exit ramps and all sorta of different places to go and see that might not be the same as yours. Now I am not talking about the obvious here. The people who are doing crack and destroying their lives. But who is to say that a woman who had no relationships and no sex while she was raising her child cannot enjoy the company of younger men after her son is grown and out of the house. If she is into younger men so what. No one calls and old man out when he dates someone 30 years younger than him. Oh No..... the response they get is "way to go" and a slap on the back.

So for Dr. Phil to criticize and demean a woman who likes younger men, even if they are 25 years younger than her, that is her choice and as long as they are legal then I don't see what is wrong with it. What IS wrong with it is using the woman as a subject to belittle and demean for an hour for the sake of his TV show. Like I said before I have never really found fault with Dr. Phil until now but Good Lord I found myself shaking my head and thinking what piece of work he is....... while changing channels. I know I have changed and I think the world has changed too. I think Dr. Phil is a pill that no one needs to take. But as always I must ask the Magic 8 ball . Magic 8 Ball has Dr. Phil's tactics of criticising and demeaning guests gone out of favor with the educated American public? Shakey........... Shakey.......... Shakey............  And the answer is : As I See It Yes.

Well there you have it.

Just A Little Pissed.......

I have not written on this blog in a very long time.  A couple of friends recently commented that they missed it and found it to be quite humorous. In reading through the blog posts last March my own take  was that yes, sometimes it was in fact funny but the glaring hard core fact that I could not run away from was how ANGRY all the posts really were.

The thing is I have never considered myself an angry person but there I was…. staring at my own angry words. I was mortified…..So I stopped blogging. I gave myself some time to sit with the fact that I was an angry person. This was rather devastating to me because most people that know me would not use the word angry in relation to me. Nor would I. But there I was……in my own words. Me…the woman, who for the last 26 years, has had spirituality as her obsessive past time. Me…Miss Namaste…the yoga instructor…..who deep down is just full on pissed off. Mortified I tell ya, completely mortified.

Because I was having such a hard time struggling with the fact that I was pissed off deep down inside, my friend Wendy turned me on to this Buddhist Monk that was totally pissed off too. He helped me understand that anger too is part of spiritual awakening. Well thank GOD. Here is a link to the article about The Angry Monk.

 So I decided it would be okay to embrace my anger as it may be teaching me something and working with it may help to diminish it. So I am back and hopefully I can learn something from it and maybe you can too. What do they say…awareness is the first step? So hopefully I can learn to be less angry but still funny and heal whatever is inside me that I am so pissed about. But the blog is about living my life based on answers from a Magic 8 Ball. I will still utilize the Magic 8 Ball only I think it might make a good gauge as to my anger levels. So for now that is how I will access my anger levels. So glad you are along for the ride. Namaste Bitches!!! Just kidding…well….Sorta.

The Skin Crawls

Today is February 1st 2012. I know that I am dreading the months ahead like most all Americans because this is an election year. The thought of having to stomach the never ending negative campaigns is enough to make you want to throw your TV out the window or at least have your own personal “Network” moment. For those of you too young to remember the movie “Network”……...rent it on Netflix.


My personal opinion is that we should take a page from American Idol and have a show where people get to audition to be a candidate. We go thru the exact same process and ultimately it goes down to the American people ….whoever is left standing becomes a candidate. It can’t be worse than the crop we have right now.

I should also tell you that I am a registered Independent. I have no party affiliation…. I don’t necessarily agree with the politics of either the democrats or the republicans. I will also be the first to tell you that I despise politics. No…. I effing hate it. I hate it in the work place and in the state house, the congress, the senate and the White House. MY motto I take from Rodney King after he had the shit beat out of him in the streets of L.A. when he said “Can’t we all just get along.” I mean really…….is it that hard?

Ok so here’s the thing……………Mitt Romney makes my skin crawl. Seriously…..I don’t know why……… but he makes my skin crawl and from being on this planet for far too many years than I will admit to…I know one thing. When I get the skin crawl feeling….even if I don’t know why…. There is ALWAYS a very good reason and on this I am never wrong. So please stupid people…my gut is telling me he is a very very bad dude…admittedly I have no idea why I am reacting this way but my skin crawly feeling is enough to tell me run fast and furiously away from this guy.

So here is the Magic 8 Ball question…..maybe of the year….. Magic 8 Ball……… Would electing Mitt Romney be detrimental to the United States? Shakey…………. Shakey………………. Shakey……………… and the answer is: It Is Decidedly So. See…….the Skin Crawly Feeling NEVER fails me!

The Supper Club

I know I stated on here before that the boyfriend and I have broken up. So in an effort to “get back out there” I am trying different things to meet people. My favorite is going to the designated Pittsburg Steelers bar and watching Steelers games. I have done that a few times but I have to be in the mood and in the right head space to walk into a bar alone and sit and watch a game by myself. People are usually pretty good about talking to you, but, you do have to be prepared to just sit by yourself at the bar if no one will strike up a conversation with you and that requires being in a certain head space.

I do not want to try internet dating again. I tried that before the x-boyfriend and it was a nightmare. I know, I know, I have heard all the stories about people meeting and getting together on the internet and then getting married but the times I have met people they don’t look like their pictures, they say they don’t smoke then show up smelling like a smoking lounge from my high school days. So I am taking a different approach to it.

A friend of mine suggested we attend a singles supper club. It’s a group of people that get together and meet at different restaurants to check out the food. I think it is a great concept. We get there and it is a pretty large group of people. There are 6 women to every man there which is to be expected. The thing I like about it is you get to check out different restaurants that you might not even know about. My friend and I sit down next to a gentlemen who seems to be the best of the male species in the group and another gentlemen joins us. We sit at the end of the table and I am forced to sit next to KC, very nice gentlemen with absolutely no people skills and in desperate need of a make over to get him up to the year 2012. He is sporting a hairdo from the 1970’s. I feel bad for him because no one will talk to him so I engage him in conversation. It was like pulling teeth to talk to him. He is a very sweet man just does not have any viable social skills to engage in conversation.

The food was half way decent and my work friend and I enjoyed our time out together so it was not a wasted night and the concept is such that we shall probably do this again.


A few weeks have passed and they have a new restaurant picked. This time it is by my house but I have never been there so we decide to go once again. My work friend got there before me and failed to call or text to give me warning of what I was walking into. I barely got into the place before KC was at my side and stayed there all night. Which brings me to the Magic 8 Ball Question.

I felt sorry for the guy cause he is a bit weird and absolutely no one would engage him in conversation. In talking to him I did learn that he was a very sweet man with a steady job. He just had no social skills. I was brought up to always be nice to people and to “do unto others as you would want done unto you”. ….which is the reason I decided to engage in a conversation with him. If I was out in a group I would want someone to come over and talk to me. I would not want to sit there with 30 people and feel left out and isolated. The end result of me being nice is that now when I go to these supper clubs I have him stuck to my left side from the moment I walk in to the moment I leave. Which brings us to the Magic 8 Ball Question. Should I be like everyone else and ignore him? Magic 8 Ball Answer is: My reply is no.

That makes me feel better because despite the fact that he is annoying I still feel like if no one else is going to extend their hand to this man, there should be at least one person who does and I guess that will just have to be me. I would want someone to do that for me if the tables were turned.

Grocery Store Etiquette.........

Ok here’s the thing……….I don’t really want to go down this road but I feel the time has come. I live in the Midwest and apparently there is a disconnect about certain tried and true etiquette. In this particular case I am talking about grocery store etiquette. I long ago gave up on doing grocery shopping on a Saturday. I normally venture to the grocery store on off days like Tuesdays and Thursdays. For some reason though today on a Tuesday there is enough traffic to make it like a Saturday.

I am not the kind of person who is a shy wall flower. I have been told before that I have a touch of Bette Midler in me. I am not sure I agree with that or see that as a compliment but, yes; I can be a bit ballsy sometimes usually behind the wheel of a car. Now let it be said that shopping carts can be very similar to a car. When I drive, I drive Indy style. I am always watching what is going on 3 cars in front of me to make sure I see things as they are happening so I can anticipate sudden changes in traffic.

The same system applies to grocery stores. But grocery stores are even worse than the road because you have lots of completely self centered people (unfortunately mostly women and GOD I hate saying that) all crammed into very small isles. You still have the same problem with people on their cell phones talking and texting. I get that cause you need to call home to see what someone put on the list but what the “F” is the deal with these people leaving their carts in the middle of the isle so no one can get by while they stare blankly at the shelves. OMG it makes me crazy!!!! Seriously. The first thing I do is stare at these self centered morons with contempt. I don’t move I just stand there staring at them till they realize that they are blocking the Isle traffic and say “Oh I am so sorry” at which point I usually walk by SMH….”Shaking My Head” at how self centered they are. I mean I am so uber vigilant about this stuff that even if I am reaching for a bag of pasta and someone can’t get by I will move out of their way. Probably because I am over compensating for all the self centered jerks in most of the stores.

So I have been down 5 isles so far and I finally hit the mother of all Isles. It is jam packed with desperate housewives, some with their pain in the ass teenage texting kids in tow three wide across the isle. I, at this point, have reached my absolute limit of clueless self centered women and teenage children. So I decide to consult the Magic 8 Ball phone app. Magic 8 Ball phone app, if these ridiculously clueless teenagers and their desperate housewives parents continue to block the Isles with the carts without even the slightest thought for other people shopping in the store shall I use my cart to ram their cart out of the way? Shakey……………. Shakey……………. Shakey……………. And the answer is: You May Rely On It. Uh-huh. Well ok. Normally that answer would freak me out but I am a tad bit PMS and these people make me crazy. So…………..bring it on!!! I decide the texting teens with their clueless mom is the target. I get right up on them and stand their looking with disgust at the cart in the middle of the isle. They do not even acknowledge my existence. Oh Baby Game On!!!! I wait for 30 more seconds….no mas. Ok.. Here we go….BAM not just BAM But I mean BAM and the cart goes flying. Desperate housewife and texting teens look at me with that suburbia I am so effing privileged and what did you just do look. I smile wave and say “Contrary to popular belief you are not the only person shopping in this store.” “Move your shit out of the way desperate housewife!” God It felt so GOOD!!!!! And yes yes yes…..there is a bit of Bette Midler in me. Perhaps it’s time to take singing lessons……………….

Is It The Honda's Or The Renee Family Curse..............

I have been friends with Renee for about 12 years now. We met on the job while working in sales for a local radio group. She sat on the other side of the wall from my cube. She had one of the loudest voices on the phone and so one day I decided to mess with her. She was sitting at her desk and I called her up and told her I liked her outfit that she was wearing. She was trying to figure out who it was on the phone and I said do you really want to know to which she responded hell yes. Then I started pounding on her cube. She jumped and then started yelling at me. The next thing ya know we were friends.

One of the things I have learned about Renee is that she has very bad luck with cars…in terms of wrecking them. Maybe it’s just a Honda thing cause she keeps getting Honda’s. Early on she had a black Honda Accord and then she was in a wreck. She replaced it with a silver Honda accord. She had this car when we worked at another radio station together. I was at work and I was sitting in the news director’s office and they were looking out the window and watched as this old woman just plowed into someone car in the parking lot. This old woman hit is so hard she totaled it out. Apparently she thought she was hitting the break and was actually hitting the gas pedal.

So I said let me look and I went Oh God that looks like Renee’s car and then I looked again and said OMG it is Renee’s car. Then a couple of other sales people joined us and we were trying to figure out who was going to be the lucky one to have to tell her….guess who lost. Uh-huh. Yep……me. My friend Dave went along for moral support. I tried to break it to her easy because our radio station had just been sold to a very large radio chain and all the corporate Yahoo’s were in the building. I knew she was gonna freak out and start screaming so I was doing my best to keep her calm. I found her as she was going out to smoke a cigarette. I told her that she needed to come with me because I had to show her something and I told her to try and remain calm. I took her to the window and told her to look down at which point she observed the mayhem below. By this time the President and Vice President of our new company had come to see what was going on right as Renee realized it was her car. This was followed by a slew of f-bombs, sprinkled with a few GD’s some SOB’s at which point she turned around to see the President ad VP right behind her. Dave and I just couldn’t help ourselves and we started laughing which broke the tension a bit. Renee’s car was only about 3 or 4 months old at that point. This was the second wreck I had known about in two years. The trend was to continue. She got the car fixed and then someone slammed into her on the highway. She then decided to protect herself and moved up to a Honda Pilot. Then she wrecked that one in a fender bender. Now her son has started to drive and my question early on was: Is this just a Renee thing or will her son have the same car wrecking luck. Sure enough I hear that her son got in a wreck with his car as well. But once is just a fluke…...we shall see if it continues.

Renee and I went to go see Boney James this week and got caught up on things going on in our lives. I explained that the boyfriend and I had officially broken up and that I was very sad about it but there were some rather big issues and even though my heart hurts right now it is for the best. She explained that her son had driven her car and well………..totaled it………. which brings me to the Magic 8 Ball question. Magic 8 Ball is Renee’s family cursed when it comes to wrecking cars? Shakey……………….. Shakey…………………………. Shakey………………And the answer is: Most Likely. Well if this is the case then I would suggest she get the biggest SUV possible to protect her and her offspring. And maybe, just maybe, get something other than a Honda as it doesn’t seem to bring her very good luck.